Supposed to be at church but...

But SSB are being total hemorrhoids today. Not to mention we're watching Desiree who is just as bad, if not worse than the other three. We made it through the first ten minutes, oh wait, nevermind.. we were in the hallway before sacrament was even passed...I took Ben out because he was getting sleepy and didn't want to sit down (mind you he's the best behaved one of all of them, odd since he's the TWO YEAR OLD), so anyway, I take Ben out and five minutes later (if even that) Brad comes out with the rest of them and the diaper bags. Apparently Saria got on her knees on the pew and totally turned around and was not sitting correctly on the pew, and Desiree had to join in. (This being after I took the hymnal from Desiree after telling her repeatedly not to bend and be forceful with the pages). So thankfully no one else's children are being bad yet, since sacrament hasn't even been blessed or passed it's fairly early on, we have an entire couch to ourselves where we put one child on each cushion (Ben's in my arms on a chair across from the couch) They have a nice big time out together, in which LO AND BEHOLD they get into more trouble (they've all been to church before and know how to act) so Brad has to sit between Sam and Desiree. I take Ben's shoes and socks off because for some reason he hates shoes on his feet for too long, and I figured it would help him fall asleep. I guess Desiree thinks it's ok to take her shoes off because she takes them off (no problem really just put them back on right) and we tell her about six times between the both of us to put them back on and she just stares at us like she absolutely knows what we're telling her to do but refusing to at the same time so we just say "ok that's it, lets go" and that's when she starts putting her shoes on...sooo needless to say, we left a little bit early, HEY at least we got to partake of sacrament. As for watching Desiree on a SUNDAY ever again, nope, ain't going to happen ever, I will gladly watch her any other day but SUNDAY because I actually enjoy being at church and would love to be able to stay the entire time. Maybe when Saria starts helping me out by distracting her brothers into doing something that won't get them into trouble instead of being a ring leader and getting them into worse trouble... then I'll reconsider, but my patience is kinda...well we'll just say they're getting on my dendrites...I know, I'm a mother, I chose to have these three wonderful spirits (which I do love with all my heart and am very glad they're here) however, there's only so much I can take, being that I am human and just an average everyday one at that. When parenting brings you to tears, because no matter what you try, or what you DO doesn't seem to work, when everything you do makes you look like a bad parent...when you just wanna throw in the towel...ya, there's only so much I can take. I know they're just kids, and I think that's the ONE thing that helps me not lose it completely. But there's a certain level of responsibility that Saria should be displaying by now, that she isn't. It's so hard to deal with a child like this...because I really don't know what to do. I think I've tried just about everything to try. But I'm sure there's something out there that can help. Maybe...I just need a chill pill ;) Or a nice Alaskan cruise...ya that sounds good